4 types of friends

4 Types of Friends:

• Must Friends,
• Trust Friends,
• Rust Friends &
• Just Friends

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”– Unknown

I am blessed to have friends in my life, most of which call, text, Facebook, Zoom or WhatsApp me.

Philosophers and contemporary scientists agree that one of the keys to happiness is strong relationships with other people.

"We need to have intimate, enduring bonds; we need to be able to confide; we need to feel that we belong; we need to be able to get support, and just as important for happiness, to give support.

We need many kinds of relationships; for one thing, we need friends.

Now, the term “friend” is a little loose. People mock the “friending” on social media, and no one would say, “wow Paul, you have 1873 friends!”

"Well, there are all kinds of friends. Those kinds of “friends,” and work friends, and childhood friends, and dear friends, and neighbourhood friends, and we-walk-our-dogs-at-the-same-time friends, etc.

In Geoffrey Greif’s book Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships, he identifies four categories of friendships:

Must friend: a best friend, a member of your inner circle, a person you count on when something big happens in your life. I am so blessed to have several of these.

Trust friend: a friend who shows integrity, someone you feel comfortable with, that you’re always glad to see, but not in your inmost circle; perhaps someone you’d like to be closer to, if you had the time or opportunity. I'll be honest, I'm so busy with Must Friends and family that I would need more time for Trust Friends.

Rust friend: a person you’ve known for a long, long time; you’re probably not going to get any closer to that person, unless something changes, but a part of your life. I have many of these Rust Friends - old friends going back to college days in the USA, but distance sadly separates us.

“Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.”
– Washington Irving

Just friends: a person you see — at a weekly quiz game, at your child’s school — who is enjoyable company, but you have no desire to socialize outside a specific context (like work colleagues) or to get to know that person better.

I think it’s helpful to think about the different types of friends. All types of friendships can still add a sense of warmth and richness to your life.

It seems even Jesus had his three closet friends in Peter, James and John. Then he had the 12. This speaks of levels of intimacy in friendships.

What do you think of the four categories: must, trust, rust, and just friends?

Are there any kinds of friends that aren’t captured in this?

One of my Must Friends just posted

"A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked."

I like that.

Another sends me Dad jokes which are often awful but lighten my day and give me a chuckle.

If you want more friends here's a good tip from Dale Carnegie

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”